It’s hard to believe that three years ago today I didn’t know if I or the baby I was carrying would live or die. I remember waking up and praying that God would be merciful and would spare us both. As we headed to the hospital and I kissed each of our other children goodbye, I prayed that whatever happened, God would also be merciful … Continue reading A Shared Day: The Ultimate Mother’s Day Gift
It has been 5 agonizing years since we lost William. There isn’t a day that goes by where my heart doesn’t long for him. I often feel guilty that out of the 14 children I have lost, he remains constant on my mind. I suppose it was the manner in which I lost him that makes it so hard to heal. It’s not that I … Continue reading The Pieces of My Heart
This is a very personal and painful post for me to share with the world. I put my heart completely in your hands today as I share with you pictures of our son William in a way I have never shared before. I have prayed over the decision to share this and I hope that he will help bring light and understanding to those who read … Continue reading Protecting Our Human Cubs: A Reflection on Cecil the Lion and Planned Parenthood
I don’t think I will ever forget the day I found out I was pregnant with Leo. I recall the overwhelming feeling of joy and fear mixed so thoroughly together. To know that I was pregnant so soon after almost losing my life with Jake and after being counseled to never have another child again, was terrifying. But, as I stood there, shaking and crying, … Continue reading For the Love of Leo
Remembering the joy that we felt as we held little Leo in our arms for the first time as well as the relief that our worries were over… this is the letter I sent out to family and friends announcing the birth of our son and the miracle that we were blessed with. I look with great anticipation to his birthday coming in just a little … Continue reading A Miracle
Originally written on November 26, 2012. It was a very difficult day. There aren’t many days in my life that I have felt truly alone or abandoned, but this was one of them. There is an elephant in the room and it’s amazing to see how people react to it. That elephant in the room is me. As you know I have asked you to … Continue reading The Elephant in the Room
I wrote this on November 20, 2012. What a scary day! We had no idea what our family and friends would say about my pregnancy and our choice for life. It was a difficult time and it was hard to decide how to tell everyone. People ended up being upset that we told them through email… but what they didn’t understand was it was harder … Continue reading Coming Out
I wrote this post on October 16, 2012. It was difficult to write about the possibility of leaving my children, especially Jake who was so young and would have no memories of me had I not made it through my pregnancy with Leo. On Saturday night I was trying to get Jake to sleep. I often listen to music with him or I pray the … Continue reading Little Fingers
This post was written September 18, 2012. It’s hard for me to read. It brings back the fear we felt as we held hands wondering what was going to happen. It is also a reminder of how we decided to get through this together. It is difficult for me to share something so personal and yet I feel it is important if you are to … Continue reading Together Through it All
Originally written on September 16, 2012 this began our journey through hell to find a piece of heaven. Our lives would forever change on this one day. I am so blessed to have been given the gift of the cross to carry. I can think of no better gift. Today I confirmed what I already knew in my heart…. I am pregnant. As I stood … Continue reading How Life Takes Our Breath Away
tales from the side of the tub 