Coming Out

I wrote this on November 20, 2012. What a scary day! We had no idea what our family and friends would say about my pregnancy and our choice for life. It was a difficult time and it was hard to decide how to tell everyone. People ended up being upset that we told them through email… but what they didn’t understand was it was harder for us than it was for them. We couldn’t face the looks of fear and/or disappointment nor the comments that would follow. We allowed people to have the time they needed to process our news.

fetusYesterday was a “coming out” of sorts for us.  We announced that I am pregnant and what it might mean for our family.  It was hard to do.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it but I also wanted to make sure that when people heard we were pregnant that they didn’t think we did this on purpose or had been irresponsible or something of that nature.

I posted a story I had written back on September 19th, just days after I found out that I was pregnant, on the Catholic Sistas website… a Catholic blog where I am a regular contributor.  If you’d like to read it you can do so here: No Greater Love Than This.  It published yesterday for all the world to read.  At the same time I put out an email to family and friends about my pregnancy.  I wanted to give people the time and space to deal with the news in whatever way they needed before contacting us.  It was to help protect both them and us emotionally.  I linked up my story at the Catholic Sistas website so that if they wanted to read further they could.

Next I posted the link on my Facebook account and to the groups I belong to there.  I decided that I wanted everyone to know our story and that the more people who know, the more people to possibly be praying for our family.  I was not disappointed in the number of prayers that people offered for us and for our baby!  To say I felt a certain peace is an understatement.

I can say that I was disappointed that more of our family did not respond at all.  I know that they are taking in the news and trying to process it but to be honest my feelings were hurt to not have that “we are praying for you” from some of those that are closest to us.  I’m trying not to let that bother me but even though I try, it still does.  I suppose that, even at 40 year old, I still want and need that affirmation from those I love.  To know that they support us in our decisions is huge.  However, I have to say that the few family members that did contact us absolutely helped us through a difficult day.  Their acceptance and prayers for us mean more than I could ever tell them.  I’m praying that the rest will find their way to believing in us and our decision to allow God to guide our lives.

It’s always uncomfortable for me to announce a pregnancy. Not because we aren’t happy but because we know we will face certain judgments but also because I truly hate to be in the spotlight.   I dislike people talking about us or fawning over us.  I hate to be the topic of conversation and often try to direct the talk to something different.  I’m just not comfortable with talking about me or having others focus on our family.   This time, though, I truly felt led to allow that focus to be on us, on me.  I feel like we have been presented with this situation because God trusts us to spread His love and His desires to others.  The sanctity of life has always been a huge passion of mine.  Here I have an opportunity to put my faith into action.  God is amazing with His ways!

I fail so very often in my life… my life as a wife, as a mother, as a sister, as a daughter, as a friend and as a follower of Christ.  I fail over and over again.  Still, God continues to trust me, to forgive me, and to give me opportunities to succeed.  I can only hope that I will succeed in my efforts to proclaim the sanctity of all life now in this trial.  I know that I am going to have to depend fully on Him.  The prayers that we are receiving will help me stay focused on what God is calling us to do.  I pray that He works through this pregnancy to bring others to Him and to understand the importance of all life.

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