Today was a difficult day. March 2, 2020 marks 10 years since I last watched my son’s heart stop beating on ultrasound. 10 years since I gave birth to my first stillborn child. 10 years since I last held Joseph in my hands marveling at his tiny perfectness. 10 years since I experienced the worst year of my entire life- a year marked by trauma … Continue reading When You Feel Forsaken
Advent and Christmas are my favorite seasons of the year. I love getting ready for Christ’s birth and I cherish the memories my family makes as we celebrate the seasons. We have many traditions that we have incorporated into our lives that have brought meaning and joy to our celebrations. It’s a time filled with joy and wonder- especially when you have small children. For … Continue reading When Your Heart Isn’t Ready to Celebrate
I clearly remember the day I was diagnosed with lupus. I came home and called my sister. It was probably the only time I ever cried to her about my medical problems. I suffer from Acute Intermittent Porphyria and at the time the kids were going through a myriad of medical problems as well. My Lupus diagnosis was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s … Continue reading When You Have Lupus
There are many days over the course of our lives that we can look back on and say that they were turning points for us. For me one of those days happened 6 years ago. That day changed me profoundly. I questioned my faith; I questioned the goodness of people; I began to guard my heart and not be so open with people, to trust … Continue reading To Know Grief is to Know Love
Good morning! I have sat trying to write a prayer of the day but can’t seem to find the words. I want to talk about how difficult losing a loved one can be and how it can turn our lives upside down. I want to write about how losing someone we love can bring us to our knees begging for mercy or perhaps questioning our … Continue reading Prayer of the Day: Consolation and Hope
It has been 5 agonizing years since we lost William. There isn’t a day that goes by where my heart doesn’t long for him. I often feel guilty that out of the 14 children I have lost, he remains constant on my mind. I suppose it was the manner in which I lost him that makes it so hard to heal. It’s not that I … Continue reading The Pieces of My Heart
This is a very personal and painful post for me to share with the world. I put my heart completely in your hands today as I share with you pictures of our son William in a way I have never shared before. I have prayed over the decision to share this and I hope that he will help bring light and understanding to those who read … Continue reading Protecting Our Human Cubs: A Reflection on Cecil the Lion and Planned Parenthood
After Mass today we stopped at the cemetery to see William. Today is his birthday. We gathered around his grave and one of the kids asked if we could sing Happy Birthday. And so, we sang. Afterward, we prayed as a family. We talked abut how old William would be had he lived and a couple of the little ones asked me if I thought … Continue reading Singing Happy Birthday to Heaven
Have you ever looked at your hands and thought about all they have done through the course of your lifetime? I know that sounds weird, but really, if you think about all you do with your hands in a single day, the thought of what you’ve done with them over a lifetime can be mind-boggling! When I was little I loved to play in the … Continue reading These Hands That Held You
This post was originally written on August 30, 2007. It was written as we grieved for our son Dominic who we lost on August 28, 2007. While we had lost many other babies before, this would be our first public loss and the first loss that our children would know about. It made our suffering that much harder to go through. To read this now … Continue reading Broken
tales from the side of the tub 