I don’t think I will ever forget the day I found out I was pregnant with Leo. I recall the overwhelming feeling of joy and fear mixed so thoroughly together. To know that I was pregnant so soon after almost losing my life with Jake and after being counseled to never have another child again, was terrifying. But, as I stood there, shaking and crying, … Continue reading For the Love of Leo
I was sitting in my room, folding clothes, when Caroline came and asked me a question. “Mama,” she started, “is Daddy going to die?” Her questioned startled me. “I don’t think so. Why do you ask that?” I responded. She looked at me and said quietly, “Because he’s a policeman and bad guys want to kill him.” I didn’t know what to say. We have … Continue reading The Other Side of the Badge
After Mass today we stopped at the cemetery to see William. Today is his birthday. We gathered around his grave and one of the kids asked if we could sing Happy Birthday. And so, we sang. Afterward, we prayed as a family. We talked abut how old William would be had he lived and a couple of the little ones asked me if I thought … Continue reading Singing Happy Birthday to Heaven
As I scrolled through a website listing the top 51 quotes from literature, I couldn’t help but think of the passages that I have deemed my favorites; the ones that at one time or another helped me through hard times or just lifted my spirits. My favorites didn’t make the list that I was reading, but as I read through the quotes I could understand … Continue reading A Writer’s Hope
I remember as a child being so angry over something that I was determined to run away. I sat on my bed and thought about what I needed to pack and where I was going to go. I was determined to get out of there. In my young mind my thoughts turned to, “This will show them! They’ll miss me when I’m gone!” Of course … Continue reading The Day I Almost Ran Away
To say that this journey to this point has been hard is an understatement. We have worried and prayed, cried and rejoiced. When we first found out I was pregnant with Leo it was hard to even imagine this day and yet here we are. Leo turns one years old today! I can’t begin to tell you how blessed I feel to be able to … Continue reading The Miracle of Leonidas
Remembering the joy that we felt as we held little Leo in our arms for the first time as well as the relief that our worries were over… this is the letter I sent out to family and friends announcing the birth of our son and the miracle that we were blessed with. I look with great anticipation to his birthday coming in just a little … Continue reading A Miracle
Originally written on November 26, 2012. It was a very difficult day. There aren’t many days in my life that I have felt truly alone or abandoned, but this was one of them. There is an elephant in the room and it’s amazing to see how people react to it. That elephant in the room is me. As you know I have asked you to … Continue reading The Elephant in the Room
I wrote this on November 20, 2012. What a scary day! We had no idea what our family and friends would say about my pregnancy and our choice for life. It was a difficult time and it was hard to decide how to tell everyone. People ended up being upset that we told them through email… but what they didn’t understand was it was harder … Continue reading Coming Out
I wrote this post on October 16, 2012. It was difficult to write about the possibility of leaving my children, especially Jake who was so young and would have no memories of me had I not made it through my pregnancy with Leo. On Saturday night I was trying to get Jake to sleep. I often listen to music with him or I pray the … Continue reading Little Fingers
tales from the side of the tub 