Originally written on June 28, 2013 I still find this to relevant to my life. I often feel like a failure and forget that it’s the little things that matter most.
Lately I’ve felt like a failure… a failure as a wife and a failure as a mom. I know we’ve had our ups and downs in the last year but it seems like I have lost complete control over my home. Things are a mess, kids are fighting, and it seems like Mike and I have little time for each other. It feels like we’ve been under attack. To say I need an intervention is an understatement!
I’ve been praying for a while that God would help me figure out what I need to do to gain control again and to help things run smoother. I know that the answer lies within me so I started digging deeper to figure out where my own faults lie and how I can fix them. I recently watched a movie that opened my eyes and helped me see what I truly needed to do.
In my Netflix instant queue I have saved a few movies that I really want to watch. I don’t have much time for sitting watching tv though so I haven’t gotten to watch many of them. I decided though, after Netflix took out one of my saved movies, that I had better watch the ones I really wanted to watch. I started with Therese… the story of St. Therese of Lisieux, the “Little Flower”. It truly was divine intervention that I watched this movie. You see, during my pregnancy I had an ongoing prayer for intercession to her parents Zelie and Louis Martin. I prayed that they would also be praying for me and our baby. They were open to life, suffered many losses and raised 5 amazing daughters. They were the perfect intercessors for our cause. To see their lives in the film was moving.
St. Therese is noted as writing, “You know, Mother, that I have always wanted to be become a saint. Unfortunately when I have compared myself with the saints, I have always found that there is the same difference between the saints and me as there is between a mountain whose summit is lost in the clouds and a humble grain of sand trodden underfoot by passersby. Instead of being discouraged, I told myself: God would not make me wish for something impossible and so, in spite of my littleness, I can aim at being a saint. It is impossible for me to grow bigger, so I put up with myself as I am, with all my countless faults. But I will look for some means of going to heaven by a little way which is very short and very straight, a little way that is quite new[…] It is your arms, Jesus, which are the lift to carry me to heaven, And so there is no need for me to grow up. In fact, just the opposite: I must stay little and become less and less.”
This spoke volumes to me. You see, in my day to day life I had lost my focus on what was important. It is the little things that I can do for others and for God that I should be focusing on. So, I have decided to do little things for my husband and children. I am going to find joy in those things that seem to be mundane and tedious. I’m getting up early and being more active in all aspects of our day. I’m trying to complain less and serve more. I’m trying to be a “little flower” that brightens people’s day all the while not asking for anything in return.
As Mother Teresa, who took her name after St. Therese, said, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” I am trying my hardest to do the smallest things with the greatest love. I know that this will help not only my family but me as well. Hopefully my husband and my children will see God’s love, instead of my frustrations and worries, reflected in all I say and do.