Our lives are crazy. I am the first to admit that most people would run away screaming if they switched places with me for a day. But to me, this is paradise. Even when I am about to pull out my hair, have yelled more than a few choice words at the kids (and then felt horribly for doing so), and have a countdown to bedtime starting at about noon, I still wouldn’t trade it for anything.
We share our lives pretty openly on social media. I’ve even been accused of talking about poop too much. But come on… when you have 2 and 3 year old boys as well as 9 other kids, well, poop is going to be talked about a lot! As much as I talk about it, I don’t talk about it nearly as often as I could. To those on my Facebook page or who follow me on Instagram- you’re welcome!
Most people enjoy the kids’ shenanigans and quotes of the day. I don’t share absolutely everything on Facebook or Instagram, but I do really enjoy making people smile, laugh, and occasionally gag with my updates. Still, I can’t be on Facebook every second of the day to share up-to-the-minute updates with everyone. Some things actually don’t make it to my pages. And so I share with you 7 things that happened in the past week that I did not share on social media until now…
1. We had to rent a heavy duty auger to snake out our kids’ toilet. Yes, I know… this is poop talk, but it was a big deal. Originally I bought a new snake that we affectionately named “Thor” because we figured Thor’s hammer would hammer out the poop time and time again. Yeah, we were wrong. As it turns out, Thor is no match for 2 and 3 year olds who are obsessed with the toilet. We went and rented an industrial auger and snaked out that toilet. Let’s just say that for the moment, the poop flows freely around here. No, I did not take pictures much to my children’s dismay.
2. We butchered one of our beloved chickens. Ok, so I shared that part on Facebook and Instagram but what I left out was that we butchered him on our driveway. Yeah… some of the older kids were mortified that we were going to be “those neighbors”. In our defense, we waited until dusk and did the actual killing in the backyard. We simply de-feathered and gutted him on the driveway. By that time it was darker out and our vans provided great coverage. The porch light and Mike’s headlamp provided plenty of light for us to see. No one was ever the wiser. Except the kids. Some of them wanted to watch (we didn’t let them since it was our first time) and others wanted to hide under a rock until we were done. Regardless, we have one less rooster waking our neighbors and being a nuisance to the neighborhood. And no, no pictures this time either… much to my children’s relief.
3. We went to the dump. So this isn’t news in and of itself, however, we did get rid of the old, torn up mattresses that we took out of the girls’ room about 2 weeks ago and that were sitting next to Jesus on the driveway in front of the house. This was much to the older girls’ delight as it makes us a little bit less of “those people”. They couldn’t see that the mattresses sitting there helped us be a little more like our neighbors and not quite so different. Now we’re back to being the outcasts once again (but really, I’m ok with that!).
4. We had a few kids throw up this week… one of them used the washing machine to throw up in since she didn’t think she could make it up the stairs to the bathroom. I won’t post names to protect the guilty. Some of the kids were horrified that she did that, but really, that washing machine has seen a lot of puke in its lifetime. It always washes clean.
5. I cleaned out the linen closet this week. To be honest by the time I was done I wanted to string up some kids. Seriously… look at the before picture (and this doesn’t even do it justice!). It took so long to clean. I couldn’t believe how much junk I found in there. In addition to the towels and sheets you see strung out everywhere and stacked high and wide, there were spoons, a poptart, books, clothes, Spiderman, shoes, and other things that I have blocked from my mind. It’s not a big closet and I always wonder how and why they can get so much stuff shoved in there. But now it’s all “Type A-ish”, just the way I like it. Mike got home from work, took one look at it and said, “Yeah, I give it two days till it’s trashed again.” As much as I hate to admit it, he’s probably right… although I double dog dare those kids to mess it up!
6. We ended up at the emergency room on Wednesday night. Emma was having some heart issues and although we have a cardiologist appointment set for next week, we figured it was safer to go ahead and go get her checked out than to wait it out. The nurses had her behind a curtain doing an EKG on her. The nurse then asked loudly, “How tall are you, Mama?” Confused, wondering why she wanted to know how tall I was, I replied, “5 foot 3.” I heard Emma reply, “4 feet 11” and then she and the nurse broke into laughter. Turns out the nurse was calling Emma “Mama”. She didn’t need my height after all. I told her next time she should say “little Mama” since yeah, I answer to the name Mama all.the.time. The nurses were still laughing when we left the room; I was feeling like I just inspired a new blond joke.
7. Leo peed on Jake and the next day on the carpet, on purpose. Now I did share on Facebook that Leo was in trouble for peeing on the carpet. Then I posted this picture showing him smiling in his sleep as he took a nap while he was in trouble. Shortly afterward he woke himself up by laughing. A friend suggested that perhaps he was peeing on his brother in his dream and getting away with it. I’m pretty sure she was right. Although I shared it earlier this week, I am sharing it again because look at him… seriously, how could I not share him over and over again? He’s lucky he’s so darn cute!
So that recaps some of the more interesting times of our week… tell me, what made your week interesting?
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